It's Been A Long Time

I haven't posted in a while.  All is well.  Well...it is better than well.  I am now 3 months post op.  I have lost 91 pounds since September (50 since my surgery).  I have been out of town several times and have not had any trouble with my food choices.  In fact, I tried a new protein while in Houston, a bison burger, and I loved it.  I would like to find some around here.  I finally bought some new clothes since the old ones were looking pretty silly.  I wore them as long as I could, but in the end they were probably comical.  I have flown and I didn't need a seat belt extender and I could put the tray table all of the way down with room to spare.  It was  exciting to get those NSVs.  Clothes wise, I am between the girls, but closer to Cara's size.  I can wear her jeans, but I don't like them as tight as they do.  I have bought a couple of XL shirts, but it really matters on the make because one of my 3Xs fits the same as another's XL.  I like to try on clothes now just to see if it fits.  Weird.  I have started exercising in our neighborhood pool and love that.  I walk back and forth as well as do other exercises.  I think some of the neighbors think I am crazy, but I am not sweating that that was my deterrent in the past.  At my 3 month checkup, my surgeon and dietitian were pleased with my progress.  You can tell I am too.

One Month Check Up and Easter Candy

This week I had my one month check up (I was a day from 5 weeks post op).  The doctor and dietitian were both happy with my progress.  I have no pain.   My incisions are looking good and I still have little hunger.  This week I was craving Mandarin Chicken.  I remember the days of when I didn't like Chinese food.  What I dummy I was.  We went out to get some on Friday.  It was so good.  I had a hard time restraining myself, but I did so.  The more I take home, the more I have for later!

Today is Easter.  I bought the girls a little candy and Robyn and I made our favorite mashed potatoes.  Again, I was good and weighed out my food.  I did go a half oz over my usual 3 oz., but it was good and I was content.  We had a lot of left overs, but I had my taters at lunch and will wait until the next holiday to have some more.  I am OK with that.  I got the girls some Reese's Eggs and I was hoping it would not cause a problem for me.  They didn't in the least bit.  I still am not feeling hunger so to speak.  I have cravings every once in a while, but that is about it.  I am able to say no prettily easily.  I hope this continues for a long, long time.

Who Is This Person And What Did She Do With My Appetite?

I am just not hungry.  Food holds no appeal for me.  I look at most food and say "Meh."  I eat because I have to not because I want to.  I was telling Phillip tonight that if I had my way I would just drink water all day.  Cold water is wonderful.  I have always loved it and still do.  I am wondering if my food indifference has to do with the fact that I am still in purees.  Most of the stuff I eat looks like cat food.  That is what Robyn told me today when I was blending up my turkey and Laughing Cow Swiss   It tastes ok, but definitely not visually appealing.  The surgery takes away a lot of our feelings of hunger.  It comes back, they say, only not as strongly as before.  Some WLS patients say they never lost their feelings of hunger.  I definitely have and it is strange that this is me.  On Friday, I get to move up to soft foods (food you can cut with a fork) and this will open up a wider range of foods.  I am curious how that will affect how much I eat.  I still have not felt nauseated since leaving the hospital nor have I thrown up.  Many on my February FB group have and I suspect that one reason is that I have a larger stomach.  My Dr. used a 42 bougie and many of them have a 32-36.  For now, I am ok with having a larger stomach.  I hope I continue to feel that way down the road.

My energy has slowly come back since the hospital stay.  I still get winded, but it is less and less so.  Today, I went to the grocery store for the first time and picked up a couple of things.  I was not speedy, but I got it done.  I am happy to get back to my normal duties.  I don't like having my family and friends pick up my slack.  I know they do it out of love and I love them even more for it.  But...I still don't like it.

How Am I Doing

I am so much better than I was when I came home from the hospital.  I did have a couple of freak outs that I would have to go back because it came on without any warning and the blood techs were showing up in my nightmares.  I am back to getting most of my liquids and all of my protein.  I have not been so good at the vitamins though.  I ordered some different calcium to try.  The Citrical was like taking a ton of chalk.  I am sure it is not so bad if it didn't have to be crushed.  No excuse for not taking my multi- vit.  That one tastes good and goes down easily.  I need to stop with the dumb moves.  This does not benefit me one little bit.

I am enjoying the group of February WLS people on Facebook.  We have had different surgeries and are at different points in our food progression, but we are supportive of each other.  I am grateful for a group like that.  Thanks guys!

On the Other Side

It is done and it wasn't that bad.  I really expected to have more pain considering what was done.  I stopped using the pain pump in the hospital and have not taken any meds for pain at home.  I have not had gas pains either.  I do pass a lot of gas and burp like a fiend, but I'll take that over pain any day.  I was released from the hospital on Saturday and spent the day and Sunday sleeping.  I am very fatigued.  Today I had more energy and had a wonderful visit from two of my angels, Angie and Cindy.  They came to check on me and to bring some beautiful flowers.  I am blessed to have them as friends.  They seemed to think I looked ok considering my surgery, so we were all in agreement.  I was able to get in more fluids today.  I had been taking it slow because I had problems with nausea in the hospital when I started to drink.  Not fun.  It was taking forever to finish 8 oz  of water taking the tiny kitten drinks I was taking.  Today I started taking a little bit bigger sips and it made the difference.  It also helped that I did not sleep as much today, so I was awake to sip, sip, sip.  I will probably finish the day with about 56 oz of water.  I started my protein today mixed with the water.  I got in 75 grams.  Tomorrow's plan is to continue to increase my fluids and keep up the protein.  I got in all of my vitamins, calcium  and B-12.  The only true negative at this point is crushing my medications.  Most are downright nasty.

Is It February Already?

Time has been flying!  It seems like it was just New Years Day.  I am finally back in the home stretch again.  I have a surgery date and all of the associated appointments set up.  I would like to say that I was able to get back in the zone like I was prior to my first surgery no go, but I have not been.  I have been letting my emotions steer my food choices.  I am still down below what the dietitian wanted me to lose prior to surgery, but that is still 9 pound more than I had been when I was revved about my surgery.  I am still excited about the surgery and I know it will allow me to get to a place that I yearn for.  Now to get my head back in the game.  I have continued to read the boards on OH and still have kept up with bookmarking posts and recipes.  I still have a bit before I start the liquid diet.  Last time I had been eating low carb and didn't have much trouble with the 4 days of the liquid diet I completed before having to cancel the surgery.  I hope it will be the same this time.

Gettin Back On The Horse

When I canceled my surgery last month, I canceled a lot of things. One being my vigilance. I was doing really well with my eating and then I just let it all go because I was not having the surgery when planned. It was a conscious decision. One that I am not proud of. Looking back it was a form of temper tantrum over things that did not go as planned. I need to grow up. Anyway, I am back to my plan as of today. I really want to be successful and to do that I cannot allow life alterations interfere with my goal. I was reading the OH message board today and there was a re-post that really said it all to me. I have it saved under "online bookmarks". It talks about being militant to be successful. I plan to have more of that. I have my appointment with my endocrinologist coming up later this week. I am keeping my fingers crossed that my thyroid levels will be acceptable and we can schedule this thing.

Oh...the IVC filter...I have to have one, but now I understand why and it makes sense to me now.

Appointment for Surgical Clearance Made

I made my appointment with Dr. Plaisance today for my surgical clearance.  I am ready to get this show on the road.

I have done well drinking protein drinks for breakfast and lunch and eating a smaller dinner.  I wish I had a scale that could tell me what I have lost.  Maybe that is a good thing.  If it was not a much as I thought, I might backslide.  Hey, I am human.

I Am Proud Of Myself

I am proud of myself these past couple of days.  I have been following my plan of having protein drinks for breakfast and lunch and eating dinner only.  The dietitian said to try to loose 17 pounds before my surgery.  I am trying this eating plan now as a way to (1) try the proteins to weed out ones I would not buy; (2) get used to cutting down on my food intake and get used to drinking meals prior to the 2 week liquid diet before surgery; and (3) a way to start loosing weight.  For 4 days I have been successful.  Only 4 days you say?  Hey that is better than no days and I did have to tell myself no several times.  That is what I am proud of.  I kept the end prize in sight and ignored the immediate treat.  I could have stopped at Krispy Kreme on the way home from the psychologist.  I could have stopped at Sonic on the way home from the grocery store, but I did not.  I read a post on the blog 300 Pounds Down and she talked about how you pre-decide your choices.  I woke up each morning and did just that.  Yea for me.  I would love to know if I lost anything this week.  Unfortunately, our scale does not go up that high.